Review # 9: Lincoln

ALAS I HAVE DONE IT.

FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN YEARS AGO I WATCHED LINCOLN.

DDL, enjoying time in the White House.
By Pete Souza (White House (P111512PS-1655)) [Public domain],
via Wikimedia Commons

I'm just kidding! It was actually only like 2 weeks ago, but I just wanted to make a dramatic entrance. *giggles*

Anyways, so so so soooooooo sorry for being so slow on the posts. I've been busy with my 17 credits of school work, here in the States. I feel as if I am going to pass out from exhaustion all the time, but hey, 3 more weeks and then it's summer for me!

To the review!

ACTING
I've always thought Daniel Day Lewis has an oddly shaped head. This time I didn't notice it though because of his rockin'  sideburns and charismatic interpretation of one of the most well known U.S. Presidents of all time. He's chillin with his man chops, Civil war style.
Sally Field was also pretty good. She looked a little too weathered to be playing the wife of Mr. Lincoln, but her acting was pretty good!
and then there's Joseph Gordon Levitt's cameo as Lincoln's son. Yummmmmmmmmm. He looks good in a top hat. That is all.
Total Oscars: 4


SET/COSTUMES
I had a strange craving for cupcakes when I first saw Lincoln and I had no idea why....
Then I realized that Sally Field was drowning in her costume and when she sat down she looked like a wedding cake topper, so my confusion was clarified. She's a petite little thing and should not have been wearing that large of a hoop skirt.
As mentioned before, DDL had the coolest side scratchers in his makeup, so makeup does get props for that.

The sets were pretty cool too! There were a few scenes where Lincoln was riding around in a horse pulled carriage which added a realistic touch to the whole thing
Total Oscars: 3.75 (would have been a 4, but Sally needs to quit walkin in that hula hoop!)

STORY LINE
A movie about Abraham Lincoln's presidency. Not only does it talk about some of his most famous points, but also an inside look as to the man that he really was.
It was fairly chronological so no need to get confused with a bunch of flashbacks.
Total Oscars: 5

OSCAR SUM: 12.75

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go back and watch Joseph Gordon Levitt being a patriotic soldier in a well fitting costume.

Tootle-loo!

 

Movie Review #8: The Switch

By Eva Rinaldi (Jason Bateman)
 [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

Who WOULDN'T want Jennifer Aniston as their longtime best friend? 

Seriously.

It's a pretty good question, right? 

Apparently, Jason Bateman was a little blind at the fact that he had JENNIFER ANISTON AS HIS BEST FRIEND and refused to acknowledge the sheer awesomeness of the situation. But it's okay because it's only a movie and he wouldn't do something like that in real life...We can only hope that he hasn't....

ACTING

Jennifer Aniston = automatic Oscar boost. She's just so glamourous. 

Jason Bateman = awkward guy you have a crush on even though you have no idea why. Automatic Oscar boost.

Plus Thomas Robinson (the little tyke) was just so nerdy I almost adopted him from Jen A. 

It was just so freaking FUNNY. I couldn't stop laughing at how...ungraceful the whole thing was. The whole story line was rather tangled, yet was entertaining at the same time. That's how good the duo was!

Total Oscars: 3.5 

SET/COSTUMES & MAKEUP

By Vennyschull (Own work)
 [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

WELL, it was shot live in NYC (pretty cool...and common). It was pretty modern day, but I have to admit that the decorating for the fertility party was rather hilarious. It's purely indescribable (mostly because I just CAN'T describe the doodads without making it seem entirely disgusting). 

Total Oscars: 3.5

STORY LINE

Kassie (Jennifer Aniston) wants to have a baby before her lady parts run out so she decides to do insemination. She throws a party and lets her donor, Roland, do his business, but her jealous best friend, Wally (Jason Bateman), sabotages the whole thing. Kassie gets preggers then moves away to raise her kid, Sebastian. She and her kid come back a few years later to NYC. Wally screws everything up, Roland is entirely charming and obnoxious, and Sebastian ends up admiring Wally. 

Total Oscars: 3.5

OSCAR SUM: 10. 5

I honestly couldn't stop laughing throughout the whole thing. It's one of those films you watch once and never do it again but tell all your friends about anyways. 

I'm back!

Midterms were awful.

I got a stomach bug at the beginning of the week, then I progressed to have insomnia, then I worked, then I ended up with more insomnia and traveling all day on Friday, but the rewarding time with my family is worth it.

Unfortunately, I haven't seen any movies the past week or two. I'm sorry. I feel ashamed, but I DID see a play!

Being the thespian that I am, I persuaded my kin to take me to Into the Woods, a play about where all of these fairy tales get mixed into one another.

I figured that the same things apply here for a review as do the movies (but plays are Tonys award system), so here goes.

ACTING
I liked the actors. Granted they were adults in a semi-suggestive children's plot play, but it's okay! The kids that went had no idea of the suggestive nature of some of the dialogue (thank heavens!!). I thought the acting was alright to say the least, but I think it would have been better if there was more of a youthful cast.
Total Tonys: 3

SET/COSTUMES + MAKEUP
I was in love with some of these costumes. Seriously! They were like the classic fairy tale pictures but with a little bit of a modern twist in some of them (like the wolf! He just had really mangled hair and clothing. Essentially, a creepy, hairy wolf man). But the set was FANTASTIC. It had 4 LEVELS. Not kidding! The producer got super creative with it and I AM IN SHOCK BY THE SET.
Total Tonys: 4

STORY LINE
To be honest, I can't describe it. Not in a good way though. There's basically like 4 or 5 child fairy tales and the characters somehow managed to intertwine their stories together. Like Facebook says, "it's complicated."
Total Tonys: 2 (because it's too hard to explain)

Tony Sum: 9 

Not bad for a local theatre production, but there were some things that could have been improved. But I still liked it, all in all! :)

Lo Siento

If I can be perfectly honest, I feel as if I am going to faint.

Not only is it mid-terms week, but this week registration opens for the fall semester AND I have to sign up for summer session classes AND do a bunch of paperwork for next year AND work.

So as you can see, I haven't had time to watch some films.

Well, technically I have, but somehow I don't think any of you would be interested in watching anything about the United States' position during WWI.

I've been a busy monkey, and this monkey is very tired, and just wants to watch British television again.

Thankfully, I will be visiting other parts of the country over spring break, so I will try and see a movie while I am busy being an educated traveler!

Until then, shoot me a comment about a movie in theatres that you've seen and I will see if I can watch it!

Adios,

your movie mogul

Movie Critique #7: Tale of Despereaux

I am a Disney kid through and through. I grew up watching cartoon movies and animated films. I even got the nickname "Boo" after Monsters, Inc. came out.
I love watching animated movies though. It's like reliving my childhood even though I look like a 12 year old.

The movie for this review is called Tale of Despereaux and it's about a little mouse!

ACTING
This was an animated film, so there wasn't much acting to it. There were a lot of voice overs! And Emma Watson was one of them. Although I do think that Matthew Broderick's voice was a little deep for such a little mouse. I would have liked to hear a young boy or teenage boy do the voice.
Total Oscars: 3

SET/COSTUMES & MAKEUP
Again, I can't really judge this because it was ANIMATED. But I do admit that I liked the way Roscuro was dressed because he was a pirate. I thought that was cute!
I thought that the faces were REALLY oddly shaped and it freaked me out a little. The princess looked a little lanky and she had these huge eyes that peered into your soul.
Total Oscars: 2 (the faces freaked me out)

STORY LINE
A little mouse, Despereaux, is a little curious mouse that wants to learn more about the Princess after he accidentily encounters her during one of his mouse lessons. But because he's not supposed to interact with humans, he ends up being banished and is sent to live with the rats where he met Roscuro. Roscuro accidently killed the Princess's mother by giving her a heart attack, so he tries to make it up to her by meeting her, but that goes awry and Roscuro ends up capturing her and bringing her to the rat colony. The rest of the story is about how Despereaux goes through incredible lengths to save her.
Total Oscars: 3 (it's the classic damsel in distress story *yawn*)

OSCAR SUM: 8 

Now I don't hate the movie, but it seemed mediocre and even though I love animated stuff, this was a little stereotypical plot. I suppose this is me being irritated because I've grown out of kids movies, but I still want something that can entertain me for an hour or two.

Movie Critique # 6: North Country

College has some perks to it.

Besides the fact that I am getting a head start on my education, some of the classes are pretty interesting. One of the ones that I am signed up for is a women's studies class. I figured it would be a worthwhile elective to take because I am going to be in an industry all about people after all.

One of the MAJOR perks is that I get to watch movies for homework. Now that I can deal with.
This particular film is called North Country. 

Although I would recommend not watching it on Valentine's Day because it's a movie about severe sexual harassment.

Don't do what I did. It makes you feel alone.

ACTING
Charlize Theron is a cray cray lady. Not because she was standing up for herself, but because she was melodramatic about everything. It was seriously frightening. I thought she was way too skinny and her teeth were too white to be working in a mine, but that's just me.
Total Oscars: 3 (the teeth and the perfect shag of her hair in every scene bugged me)

SET/MAKEUP
While there was a lot of soot and smear paint involved in the movie, I felt as if some things were too clean to be there. The counters were too clean in the kitchens and the clothes too perfectly clinging to the women's bodies. I did like how they built the dispensary belts and the towers of the mill. That was pretty cool! I give them props for that.
Total Oscars: 3

STORY LINE
Josey Aimes (Charlize Theron) has to leave her abusive husband to save her and her children's lives. She ends up getting a job at the tactonite mill that her father has worked for most of his life. She's one of the handful of women selected to work at the mill, but she goes through unbearable ridicule and scrutiny from her male colleagues. She ends up filing a lawsuit against the mill because she was not being respected by anyone (not even her father), and her rights as a woman were not being protected. The movie is about her journey of taking the complaint to court.
Total Oscars: 3 (it was a lot to take in)

Oscar Sum: 9

The movie was wayyyyy too repulsive in my opinion. Did I like it? Yes, but it was really depressing to watch and I felt uncomfortable watching these women be tortured as they were. I suppose that was the whole point, but it still makes you paranoid after.

I wouldn't recommend watching this if you are around children or live with much older individuals. The language and sexual content is going to get people riled up. Be careful.

Movie Review # 5: Zero Dark Thirty

I cannot stand violence. Seriously! I don't like wars because a lot of innocent people are killed and the killing just amplifies the problem in the first place. I think action movies are stupid and I am not a fan of Schwarzenegger or Stallone. They always play the same macho roles and it gets super boring.

Sorry Rambo.

But when I went to see Zero Dark Thirty,  I was actually looking forward to it. I like to see stuff based on actual events, especially when the story is about an event that has shaped my life.

ONWARDS.

ACTING
I saw Jessica Chastain in The Help, where she was this little Southern belle just trying to make some friends. I felt so bad for her character in that movie. It was heartbreaking to see her be mistreated so badly.
But in her new film, she kicks burro (I would say the A word, but I don't want it to come back and haunt me. SO Spanish words it is!). She was seriously one of the toughest chicks I have ever seen!
All of the actors had the tension dead on. It was really intense the whole way through. I just can't get over how realistic it was. Almost as if you were watching a documentary!
Total Oscars: 5 

By Tony Shek (Jessica Chastain) [CC-BY-SA-2.0
 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

SET/MAKEUP & COSTUME
Hollywood did a pretty risky gamble trying to reenact a historical event. It's a bit hard to recreate embassies and bomb explosions (especially ones where the actual actors are actually close to the explosion). The sets were pretty cool.
But the makeup I disagree on. There was a scene in the beginning where a prisoner was being tortured, and boy it was realistic...minus his clean teeth. Everyone's teeth was sooooo clean. If you live in a dangerous and poverty stricken place, I'm expecting you to be a little grungy every time I see you. Jessica Chastain's hair was too perfect and she never ever looked tired (it's her perfect skin. I am telling you, nothing will ever taint her skin that's how magical it is). Did she look stressed? In some parts, but you never saw her body shrivel from it like a normal person would.
Total Oscar: 3 (everyone was too pretty and clean for a desert)

STORY LINE
Maya (aka Jessica Chastain) is the woman in charge of trying to hunt down Osama Bin Laden. Everyone else eventually gives up on her mission or ends up dying somehow, but she sticks through it all and has to convince some big honchos to let her keep pursuing her mission, even though no one believes her.
Total Oscars: 5 (because it was all so believable)

Oscar Sum: 13 

The best part was that a Navy Seal from the mission actually saw the movie and said she was pretty tough! So I'm guessing that's a good sign. But he also said that it was too melodramatic and there wouldn't be as much noise as the movie suggested. I suppose you'll have to watch for yourself and find out!

Until then, I'm going to start boxing to make me feel BA.

tootles!